Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
