We're like a lot better than the average bears
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
