drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
