clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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