plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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