in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
