Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
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