and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
