You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
