remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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