If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
