Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
