I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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