you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
