I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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