Please, let me fuck your mom
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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