A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
