is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
The power of my boobs compel you
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize