I think i sorta joined a cult last night
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
