I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
