need another drink. this is the easiest way
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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