I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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