she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
