She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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