There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Damn victory sex feels great
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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