HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
