Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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