We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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