I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
