Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I seem to have left my pride at pride
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
