My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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