i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
