This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
