Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
