Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
