I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
