I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
