i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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