me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
