Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
