i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
