I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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