Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
