saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
