So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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