Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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