I hope mine doesn't look like that
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
