Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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