Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
