O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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