i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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