Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
