remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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