I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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