Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
