Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
