i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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