Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
