no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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