Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
