New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize