very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
